Tuesday, October 23, 2007

My time...

Have i finally found my salvation? Was it a dream or did i find myself finally seeing the silver lining after such a long time spent under the coldness of gloom? Did last night's conversation really mean what i think they meant... or am i dealing myself another downfall?? Can i trust him? Can i give him the love that I'd kept bundled up after such a painful break? Is this the right thing to do?

Last night, Yuri called me... i was surprised that he did, i was in the middle of txting Jessie when he called... i had to think twice before i answered the phone... some part of me held back, because of what i never did dwell on... maybe it was fear or it was some kind of hesitancy brought about by disbelief... i don't know... But i did hesitate but then i answered the phone after 5 rings i think. The conversation began with checking in on how the other is dong in their school life, thesis and all that, but then a sudden silence fell when he spoke up, he told me to be quiet for a while and i did... that was when he told me everything. He explained a lot of things and i found myself crying and laughing in the background silently... I could not help but remember those days, those times when i fell under such a depression stage, those days that i spent on my bed crying, wondering as to what and where i went wrong... wondering why i wasn't enough to satisfy him... why he left me after everything I've done. After everything, he stopped, he apologized and all and i found myself laughing... hay, i couldn't count how many time he said "really" over and over again. I told him my side... crying as the memories washed back more forcefully this time... i told him almost everything, i couldn't really tell him everything cause i didn't know how to express everything... i couldn't really... I was close on revealing that i still loved him but i stopped myself, besides... he didn't say anything, i wasn't about to open that up yet. He asked me if he had a chance to win me back and i told him that he had always had a chance... he just didn't take it... and that was what hurt me more all those days. He asked me to not give him a hard time... but i guess its only his due... lets see how well he'd fair...:P It's my turn...:P I won't give him a hard time... much... but i guess its my turn to have some fun...:P I love him but... getting me back is something i would have him work for this time.

No comments: