Friday, October 5, 2007

Damn him!

Tell me I'm wrong when i say that he's being unfair... because he is! I'm tempted to just go up to him and tell him to stop messing around with his bullshit because right now... i feel as if i'm being played for a fool. I don't want to be in the shadows anymore...i don't want to wonder if i should have done something more or if i shouldn't have made a move at all. I'm no mind reader! I'm far from being godly or anything close to that! I'm your average human being without any telepathic talent that would be able to help me understand what he's thinking! Damn it! I don't like this feeling anymore... it leaves me lost and unsure of my next moves... i can't even face him, can't even be near him without feeling the urge to touch him... to try and renew the old feelings that i still crave for. To feel him... damn it but i still love him... if its so easy to erase everything i would have... if its as simple as flicking off the switch then i would have reached inside me and just tear out the switch. I don't want this anymore... i want him to stop playing around... if he wants me back, then why won't he just take the chance, brave everything?! Am i not worth it? Am i not worth the pain, the fear and all?! What have i lacked? Am i wrong in thinking that his words meant something more?!
I'm just hoping for an end to this... its either we get back together or i move on... god... make it the first!

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