...

Surprising how fast time seem to pass... most of everyone around me, people who have close to me within the three years of college are now leaving. Graduating into a new world. I know i'll be leaving soon as well, graduating, but having to think about these people leaving makes me sadder, lonelier... but i am happy for them. I'm glad that things have worked out, that everything will soon be over, there school life may end here, it may not, but that depends on the path each of them will take. I could still remember the first day of college, the first time i met my batch mates, the first time i got t speak their name and associate these names with their faces. Now, it's nearly time to say good-bye, those days will remain in our memories, no doubt.

***

If only i knew what to expect from college i would have prepared myself more... trained myself to endure each and every day. Treat each and every point as a chance to succeed and avoid any path that leads to failure or pain. If only i'd known that i'd fall in love in college... fall in love then crash and burn then i wouldn't have fallen. I would have stayed away from him... that one person who i still love... yes, sadly yes... i've just realized that i still do love him... but i hate loving him. If seeing his face, hearing his name could make me long and ache... then i do still love him. I don't want it anymore... i don't want to keep on crying... i don't want to have to find something to do just to keep myself from thinking of him... i don't want to wake up every night from dreams that leaves me longing for something more... something that may never be... something that he had thrown away. How could i still love a guy that has forgotten about me... that just... god... if this really is love, please... take it away... i don't want it anymore...